2009 Vision Board: Transformation

I did a vision board workshop with Kaya last weekend, here is what I made:

It is sort of a progression as you start at the bottom and go up.

The theme is summed up in the statement in the middle – “The seeds of our inner light and vision germinate as the darkness begins to wane.”

This year’s board came together with a lot more clarity and intention that last year. I started the workshop feeling some inner poutiness: this last year didn’t turn out exactly as rosily as my vision board had laid it out, and I felt resistance to making a new one. I didn’t want to paint some nice picture for myself and then just do the same old stuff again.

Last year I did it semi-intuitively, but this year I completely just let the images find me, much like a Soul Collage but on a bigger scale. I also stopped at one point to pull a Tarot card – Kaya had brought them to help with the process. It was the Osho Zen deck, and the card I pulled was Transformation. It was right on:

“This is a time for a deep let-go. Allow any pain, sorrow, or difficulty just to be there, accepting it’s ‘facticity’. It is very much like the experience of Guatam Buddha when, after years of seeking, he finally gave up knowing there was nothing more that he could do. That very night, he became enlightened. Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And, like death, it takes you from one dimension into another.”

This year I looked at the vision board as more of a divination/discovery process than a goal-setting one. I wanted to know what this year would be about – not just what I wanted it to be, but what was there to deal with.
I’ve come to realize that, while we can set goals for ourselves and that is good, often our Karma has a lot more power than our conscious intention. So perhaps the most useful intention for those situations where you know you still have “stuff” is to say: “My goal is to accept and work through my Karma to the best of my ability as it presents itself”.

We all want to be at the finish line, but sometimes you still have to run the race. That’s how I’ve been feeling about teaching and writing – there is a lot I want to say, but I’m still halfway through doing my own work.

When you stop wanting divination tools to give you a picture you want to see, and start seeing what is there, they become more useful. Divination tells you what your Karma is – the most probably path as you walk through life. There are many things you can’t change. Knowing about it ahead of time doesn’t necessarily mean you can stop it – but it does mean you can start accepting it and learning from it early so it’s less painful when it shows up.

So what does this tell me? Starting from the bottom, the early months of the year will be about excavating and diving into my unconscious fear patterns – and embracing and accepting the reality of my history. Letting go of the pain – letting it drain away and finding the grace and emptiness of surrender.

And, with that work, transformation will occur. Finding both inner happiness (upper right) and inner power (upper left), and embodying the messages I most want to share: “Suffering is optional” and “The Art of Happiness – Everyone can master it”.

A lot of the images are symbolic. Here are some of the meanings, starting from the bottom:

• monkeys in snow: bleakness of childhood
• bunny: fear response, always tracking, looking
• woman with open arms: embracing, accepting
• archeologist: excavation of the past
• woman on tree: loneliness from childhood
• person behind mask: hiding, fear, suspicion
• underwater diver: exploring the unconscious
• angel with red wings spanning that section: protection, boundaries, and grace
• mountain pool: letting painful feelings release and drain away
• empty bowl and chair: stillness, receiving. there is also a copy of the tarot card I got tucked away behind the chair.
• elephant, on right, you can just make out the eye – elephants are a personal symbol for me of protection
• person climbing rock wall (on left of pool) – climbing in consciousness, doing the work of growing
• forest scene – not quite sure – it sort of looks like where I grew up
• woman on swing – not quite sure yet, I had a swing like that growing up, but of course it wasn’t all idyllic like that (and I didn’t wear high heels LOL)
• llama, on right – looking ahead
• crystal lady in center – transformation
• man, hand with lipstick, J-Lo – power, strength, combining feminine and masculine
• hummingbird – not sure, but it felt like an image of power
• seedling – growth
• penguin – playfulness
• happy face – uh, happiness
• guy on lake in canoe – moving forward

Kaya has directions on her site (link above) if you want to try one of your own. I recommend it!