The technology Tunnel seemed more like another planet or universe to me. I realized it is actually true. It’s walking into another world without knowing the culture, rules, norms or language. I guess I just decided to stay and learn from the natives! Thanks for your part.

The tunnel for me is more of my inner fears about me, my ability, intelligence etc. A cave feels sort of safe and enclosed. A tunnel has light at the end but to get there it means possibly dealing with spider webs and other icky things. That’s where the fear is for me. I don’t like things that will jump out and bite me.

First I want to say, I’m so grateful for the comments! As you can imagine, it really helps with my whole am-I-legitimate-and -does-what-I-say-matter-at-all stuff. =)

@James
Yes! I have been a big extremes-bouncer. It’s calming down of late. I think I used to get on new kicks and think they would “solve my life”, and I’d get all excited…and then crash back the other way when, surprise, my life was still there, and still mostly as murky as it was before. Now, I still do the kick thing, but it’s not as extreme: I have a more stable middle ground. But I still catch myself doing it sometimes. And then yes, there’s the other side of, it’s how we learn. Certainly it can be a fun-enthusiastic-integration thing rather than a rabid-conversion-burnout thing.

@Kaya
Yes, I see you walking through technology tunnels all the time. You are fearless! You are learning at a really rapid pace and the changing scenery seems to excite you rather than daunt you. It’s inspiring.

@Alex
Yes, exactly. It’s like – you have to believe there is actually an “other side” before you are willing to go into the cave. Otherwise, why bother?

I guess that’s where inspiration comes in – it can come from within – that internal pull (or push!) to move forward, like you said. Or it can come from watching others and seeing what they have done and how they walk through their tunnels. But I think even then, it has to match up with something inside – the inner drive for liberation. Hmm.

Yeah, motivation – that’s a puzzle all in itself. I am highly motivated to move rocks. Sometimes I don’t know how to help people who are so convinced that it is only a cave, or the tunnel is so impossible to reach the end of that it’s not worth it *in this lifetime*. I suppose though, you would have to start with small tunnels and rebuild that internal strength and confidence. OK I’m really rambling here. =)

@Nevada
Thanks! I’m glad it landed right where it needed to. =)

@Angela
Oh, this comment made my day. Nothing like someone saying they are happy you were born. =)

Glad it is resonating. Hey, I just met (I)An-ok in person last week. Yay for cyber-friends-you-get-to-meet! =)

@Everyone
Yay!! (Random celebratory mood!)

In gratitude,
Emma

The universe keeps pointing me toward you (via Conal and (I)An-ok, simultaneously) and I am really enjoying reading your stuff. So much of it (from all three blogs I found) makes so much sense to me. I’m grateful and happy about your existence. Just sayin.

Angela

But, of course I’ll continue because my desire to move forward is stronger than my desire to run away.

Cheers,
Alex

Thanks for sharing. It was fun sitting in the park and drawing that day and it was fun to see your drawing again and hear the next piece of your process I can sooo relate to the cave/tunnel experience. I find myself in that dark space at least a few times every week. Sometimes everyday. The first step for me is always acceptance of where I am and the the next piece is acknowledging that there is a way through and I just need to find it – or shine the flashlight like you said. And after that I agree that using my intuitive abilities is my biggest asset. I will usually get a “feeling’ of what I need to do next. Then remembering that all I need to do is take one step forward.

This reminds me of when I hiked the 10 miles down into the Grand Canyon. Literally, with every step the view changed. Each step I was in a new place. That memory and that metaphor helps me everyday. Hope to see you in the park again this week- Kaya

Here’s a big “Yay you!” for taking on this journey and a big “Thank you” sharing your situation. It’s so helpful to meet people who are going through the same stuff.