Did you try the exercise – of naming what you most deeply desire, your secret wish?

I’m just speaking for myself here – I’m not exactly sure where you are coming from with your comment. But for me, I notice lately that I’ve spent a lot of time “just doing what I want to”. It’s good, it’s great…and it also has been, for me, a place to hide out.

I’ve come to believe what will deeply fulfill me is, for me, right now, challenging, scary, and looks foreboding. It might not be once I get there, but for right now, it looks that way. And I want to challenge myself to sit with those deep desires and feel the fear and understand it. That’s where I was coming from with this post.

Sometimes just naming these things can be scary. If I write them down, does that mean I have to do them? What if they don’t happen, will I be disappointed with my life? But naming them is a way of affirming them. It starts the journey. It conveys to your whole self that it matters.

“Doing what I’m drawn to” can get pretty vague – and it’s easy to avoid the stuff that I am both drawn to and deeply scared of – but that’s the juicy stuff. That’s the stuff that I believe will ultimately be fulfilling on the deepest levels.

I can end up feeling “drawn” to stay home in bed. “Oh, it’s what I feel like doing”. But getting deeply in touch with a larger vision, and naming it over and over to myself, helps shake me free of that lethargy.

There are things that I want that have scared me for a long time. Wanting them scared me. The whole idea scared me. And I’ve spent a lot of time hanging out in “doing what I want’. I’m sure it’s exactly what I needed. But I’m slowly feeling like – it’s time for more.

Not sure if this speaks to you at all, but I just wanted to clarify where I was coming from.

Emma

“If I’m not directing my actions because I need to achieve a goal, then how do I know what to do?
I choose that which I am drawn to. I do things that I want to, that I enjoy, that fulfil me in their own right.”