I was browsing in the library today and a book on the Kabbalah jumped out at me. Now I thought Kabbalah was this arcane thing with strange symbols and a lot of numerology. So not! This book totally clicked something into place for me around why life is difficult.
So the whole idea of “we have to suffer to learn” never made sense to me. I can feel, deep in my bones, that suffering is optional. So why does it seem like there is some kind of truth to the fact that the hardest things in life are often what we learn the most from? And why would the system be set up this way?
So, here’s why. This is my theory combining Kabbalah and Buddhism and other random stuff.
It’s basically because we wanted to do it for ourselves.
So in the beginning, it was all one. Nothing to learn, nothing to create, because it was all created already and eternally and wholly there. It was all Light. Great, but boring.
So then for some reason (explanations differ), there was a separation. The Light created a Something. The Something was initially attached to the Light like glue and got everything it needed from it (think the Garden of Eden, or a baby). But eventually the Something got tired of that. It wanted to learn how to create its own light, to do its thing, to learn and grow and develop on its own. So it resisted the Light. (think Eve and the apple, or growing up, or the Big Bang – yeah). Suddenly there was disconnection. But that was purposeful. That was necessary so we really could have free will and do it on our own.
So, we had to learn everything about how to live, how to grow, and how to be like the Light on our own. But that was our choice. We wanted to know what it was like to truly be the authors of our own existence. And by we I mean everything in the material world, but most relevantly, humans. And it’s entirely do-able because we are made from the Light so everything that we originally have we can have again. We just have to create it/discover it for ourselves.
So. Why is life difficult? Because that’s the game. It’s learning how to be the Light, amongst a field of Darkness, and within the laws of Karma and Time. And we wouldn’t (really) want it any other way.
This rings true for me because of this: I love money. So why wasn’t I born rich? If the Universe gives us everything we want, why did I grow up poor? And I know the answer, I can feel it – because I don’t just love having money, I love the game of money. If I had it all handed to me I wouldn’t have been able to play. So whatever you have in your life, you can bet that some part of you relishes the game of it even if it’s difficult.
Unless you are really disconnected from that because you are stuck battling karma all day.
What is karma and why does it matter?
Karma is why everything is so confusing.
So bad things (your own thoughts, or events outside you) happen because of your previous actions, or rather reactions.
Whenever something negative pops up in your life, and you react to it, you create more karma for your future.
If instead, when something negative comes your way, don’t react. Stop, and make a conscious choice of how you want to be with the thing. That dissolves the karma so it won’t come back again.
So, reactive = bad. Proactive = good.
So the way to make your life great and easy and good is to stop reacting and start choosing from your inner Light/conscious free will instead. Period.
Everything you read about becoming conscious, developing mindfulness, understanding your triggers, taking responsibility for your life, shifting out of victim consciousness, giving up your story, etc, etc, are all the same way of saying that you got to really pay attention and stop reacting or your life will just keep spinning around in the same groove as your karma keeps coming back. The only way to dissolve it is to not react to it when it shows up.
It helps to understand what your reactions are. For instance, you could have emotional reactions – getting depressed, angry, hurt, jealous, etc. Or you could have pattern responses – withdrawing, rescuing, being passive-aggressive, etc. It doesn’t really matter what they are, it just helps to know if it helps you to stop. The main point is to notice them and stop. Your life will get better. Try it.
And if you do try it and your life doesn’t instantly get better, remember that time is another factor. Karma isn’t instant. Yeah, it sucks. That’s why faith is an integral part of all spiritual systems. You have to choose non-reaction and then have faith (another word for a commitment) while you wait for the results to show up. And whilst you are waiting, your faith and your commitment keep you from going back to your old reactive patterns.
It also works in the reverse, where your commitment gives you the strength and faith you need to not react and can totally accelerate the clearing of your karma and the growth of your light. That is awesome too and I highly recommend commitment as a tool.
So that’s it. The keys to how life works. Enjoy. =)
Thank you, Emma. This post is getting me through a *very* difficult day.
Thanks Emma. I’ve been struggling with this issue a lot. I’ve noticed that I keep “picking” the same boss over and over in a different body (and a different job). But the issue is still my struggle to have autonomy, be true to myself and not allow myself to be run over, and have a good relationship with my boss all at once.
Autonomy was a huge issue for me as well. It’s one of those things like choice, that you always have but don’t always feel you have.
I think running your own business can be a great opportunity to shift it though, because you really can’t pretend anymore that it’s the other person’s fault. You choose your clients, your projects–it’s all your deal!
Jack Taylor says
Simply, thank you for your good words. We are on our Path, our Tao.